Connections

Put on your waterproof mascara and get ready for some happy tears! In case you haven't heard already, because of everyone's willingness to share we were able to find my birth mother, and this is how it all happened.

Sunday afternoon I made up that little search photo you've all seen and started posting it in some closed adoption search groups on Facebook. I decided that I should write up something explaining what I was doing in case family or friends started to see it pop up in their news feeds. I wrote up that little blog post that has now received over 80,000 hits and sent it to my parents to see what they thought. They thought it was great so I posted it, and then posted the link to my Facebook profile. I also got a little crafty and posted it to some Ft. Myers pages and emailed some group admins asking if they could post it to their Lakeland and Ft. Myers groups. The strangers I emailed were more than happy to post for me and one very nice lady even made it her profile picture! This was Sunday afternoon August 10th. 

The next day I was amazed at how many people had shared my link. This was just something that I made so people I'm close to would know what's going on. I make things all the time for people to share and no one actually does it! By this time hundreds of people had shared the link and my blog had been hit thousands of times. The pages I posted to were re-posting so all their followers could see it, and from their post hundreds of people were sharing. I started receiving emails from other adoptees sharing their stories, giving encouraging words, sharing tips on how they found their birth families, and thanking me for giving them the inspiration to search for their families too. I couldn't stop crying. I'm crying right now! I never expected this to happen, for so many people to be touched.

That same day at 4:34pm EST I received a email from a wonderful lady named Lori, that went a little something like this:

"Hi Ashley,

I was part of an Assembly of God church in Lee County and years ago one of our young teens who was living with her grandmother got pregnant, a good family. They asked me to keep the baby while they were handling the adoption who I knew to be a christian family, leaders in the church, somewhere north of us.

I know this sure sounds like your story but I don't want you to get your hopes up. I was wondering if you have any of your newborn pictures. As crazy as it sounds, I remember what she looks like.

I also forwarded your story to our Pastors' wife at that time to see if she remembers any names.

My name is Lori, I lived in Lehigh Acres at the time.  They kept it very hush hush and the young mom disappeared until after the baby was born. I don't remember seeing the girl for too many days after the baby was born. She was a healthy good baby.

Let me know if we should pursue this further."

Well that is quite like my story! Could this lady actually have kept me? I called my parents immediately to read them the email, and shortly left work to head to their house.  I can see the time on my emails and it was exactly an hour later that I emailed Lori back with my response. I said that the story sounded quite similar to mine and that I know dates and such can be changed in adoptions, that my parents were placed with me when I was 3 days old, but any possible lead was appreciated. For her to let me know if I could help in anyway and sent her some baby pictures. Soon after my email I received this response:

"Ashley,

I had you, or the baby the first 2 days of your life. I wouldn't know what you looked like beyond that. But I do know the timing is right also. I remember the house I was in at the time and it was a short 2 years we were there.

I'm feeling quite hopeful now. Let look a little further. The friend that delivered you may recognize the picture of the people in the photo. I will forward it.

Here's hoping! God is good!"

 Wait what!? She knows the friend who possibly delivered me! Myself and my parents could not believe what we were reading. I was still thinking that this was never going to match up, there's just no way after 1 day that we could have found someone who knows something! She then emailed me saying she is pretty sure my birth mothers name is April, that she is contacting some family and a few others to confirm! Before I could even hear back from her I received an email from a lady named Susan:

"Were the parents who adopted you in the ministry in a church in
southwest Florida?  My husband and I were youth pastors in Lehigh
Acres, FL.  I was this mom's coach in the delivery room and we helped
with adoption.  Just wondering if you might be this daughter."


 To which I simply replied that yes, my parents were pastors in Plant City, FL at the time and their names are Herb and Sandy Phinazee. Then I waited for what seemed like forever for a reply. I mean could this really be happening, like who does this happen to really? And then it came, maybe the best email ever. "Wow! Yes!!! They were pastors in Plant City!!" She then went on to tell me my birth mothers name was April, that she took her under her wing while she was pregnant with me and was her birth coach in the delivery room when I was born.  I was crying, my parents were crying, and our dog was scared to death wondering why everyone was crying.

From there I spoke with Susan on the phone several times. We confirmed April's whole name and agreed that if we found her, Susan would be the one to contact her first. This all happened Monday night and early Tuesday morning.

Somehow through Facebook I was connected with a wonderful search angel and once I had April's whole name I messaged my angel who was able to locate every woman with that name around the age of 41 in the United States! A search angel is a very special person who helps adoptees find their family's without charging, they are truly angels! While my angel and I were on the phone she was rapidly telling me names and phone numbers and looking up Facebook profiles, she is just amazing! The first Facebook profile I looked up was full of tinkerbell pictures. Well I like love tink,  but that can't be her I mean how strange would that be! Plus I didn't see any real pictures on the profile and it was all private. The next April I looked up on Facebook was a lovely lady in Washington! Washington! On top of that this April had red hair! Well while the angel was looking at the tink profile she found a pic, but I was looking at the Washington profile, thinking well this stinks that is so far away if this is her!

This was all going on Tuesday morning and I just needed to go do something! My angel had given me some phone numbers to give to Susan, she was pretty sure it was the April in Sarasota, FL. I decided to go into work, even though I don't work on Tuesdays there is always something to do at the shop and I just needed to get out! As soon as I got to my store I told my friend Marisa who works across the hall at Kayak Amelia what was going on, and of course she wanted to look up these Facebook profile to see what she could find. I told her that we thought it would be the Facebook profile with no real pictures or a lady in Washington. The first profile Marisa looked up was the Tink profile. I was standing by her desk when she found it. She scrolled down through all the tinkerbells and there it was, a picture of April. This had to be her. Strawberry blonde hair, same features, everything. I immediately sent the picture to Susan who excitedly confirmed that this was indeed the April we were looking for!

I could not believe that this was really happening. In less than 2 days we had located my birth mother though Facebook. I mean, who does this happen to? From there Susan contacted April though Facebook, and by Wednesday I was having the very first conversation with my birth mom! To make this whole thing even more of a whirlwind by Friday April made plans to be here on Saturday afternoon so we could meet for the first time!

My parents Herb and Sandy, Me, and April

I can not say enough how grateful I am to everyone who shared my story on social media. April had been looking for me and I had been looking for her and neither of us really had any info on the other one! Without each and every person who shared we might have never found each other! If you are adopted and looking for your birth family and think that this method could work for you be sure to look for my next post! It will include the app I used to make my search post, how to set it up, what info to include, and more!

xoxo
Ashley